Trickster Tipster Dec 20

Pressure and stress mean Man City will triumph narrowly against Leceister


(Statistics + algebra – probability) x me = 100% accurate EPL predictions.

 

Liverpool may be in Qatar right now for their Club World Cup campaign but there is no doubt they will be keeping an eye on this.

 

Either Leicester City or Man City will drop points here. And for the one that does so, its chances of catching the league leaders will be as good as eliminated. Which means the stress levels for both teams will be very high. 

 

And you know what stress does to people: It makes them behave abnormally. By my calculation, Man City’s collective focus would drop 43 per cent and Leceister’s by 32 per cent. 

 

Stress also makes people scratch their heads. But Guardiola does it so frequently that it’s so normal - which explains why my calculations show that his desire has increased by 15 per cent instead. On the other hand, Brendan Rodgers seems to have lost confidence because of the stress - which is perhaps why he couldn’t lead Liverpool to the title in 2014.  

 

As Leicester are the closest challengers to Liverpool right now, there’s more at stake for them - which increases the pressure on them by 3.25 times. Based on that, Leicester have only a 34 per cent chance of winning, compared to Man City’s 40 per cent. 

 

Take Man City to carve out a narrow win. 1-0 to Pep Guardiola’s team. 

 

Shady Hacker: Everton vs Arsenal

You don’t know me. But I know you. And everything about the EPL too.

 

Apparently, the word is that Mikel Arteta is already the Arsenal manager, but the Gunners do not want to announce that yet as Arteta is considered an Everton legend. 

 

What that means is that Freddie Ljungberg is still stuck with the caretaker post - something that he does not want anymore. My spy cams have picked up arguments between Ljungberg and the players, with the Swede shouting at them for not understanding the Arsenal DNA. 

 

On the other hand, I’ve overheard Duncan Ferguson praising his players for understanding what’s the Everton DNA. However, I really don’t understand why they’re so obsessed with DNA, honestly. 

 

Take Everton to beat Arsenal 3-1. 

 

Fengshui Master: Tottenham vs Chelsea

The answers to the EPL are in the palm of my hand.

 

Christmas is coming! Ho! ho! ho! Oh wait, sorry. I forgot I’m supposed to be the Fengshui Master here… . I was doing a part-time gig as a Santa Claus earlier. 

 

Anyway, have you noticed that it’s been raining almost every day in Singapore? Aside from the heavy rain, the winds are blowing from the south to the north and that’s an ominous sign. Even my neighbour’s roosters have to be kept indoors now, and he even fell on his buttocks while trying to catch his roosters because of the puddles of water that had formed. 

 

I don’t think it’s coincidental that Spurs are located in North London and have cockerels on their badge.

 

Chelsea to record a 2-1 win! 

 

Fitness babe: Watford vs Man Utd

Fitness is life, the obese are lame. Without fitness, you can’t win the game!

 

Man Utd’s young side seems to be full of energy lately! And I love watching people filled with energy! It makes life seem so wonderful. 

 

Like who would ever want to watch a group of people doing work without energy and looking lifeless? That’s exactly what Watford is right now! 

 

Also when they fired Quique Sánchez Flores, I thought they were going to get someone charismatic to lift the team. And then they got Nigel Pearson, who looks like one of those creepy kopitiam uncles who do nothing but ogle at girls every day. Eeewww!

 

I think the Red Devils’ youthful exuberance will help them triumph. 4-0 for Man Utd! 

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