Liverpool or Manchester United? The answer should be obvious enough
You don’t know me. But I know you. And everything about the EPL too.
That’s certainly what the Reds are thinking. Jurgen Klopp may publicly tell you that Liverpool are still taking it one game at a time, but he’s been working on his title-winning speech, practicing it every morning in front of a mirror at home.
He’s also already in talks with several publishers to release an autobiography to commemorate this season’s title victory - the working title right now reads “Klopp the genius”.
Thanks to my spy-cams, I know that Liverpool aren’t too fussed about beating Leicester. Because it doesn’t really matter to them now anyway. They are more concerned about their celebrations for when they finally get to lift the EPL trophy in May.
The Foxes have also given up hope as well. Brendan Rodgers has been telling his players to care more about Man City more than anything else.
Of course, the Leicester players don’t know about the deal Rodgers has with the Anfield outfit - he has been promised a Premier League winners’ medal if the Reds win the title, as a thank you for starting the Liverpool revolution when he took charge of them in 2012, before leaving in 2015.
So, I’m sure Rodgers won’t want Leicester to win this game, then. Take Liverpool to triumph 2-0.
The answers to the EPL are in the palm of my hand.
I think the question going through every Manchester United fan’s mind right now is whether Paul Pogba’s return can galvanise the team.
Well, I’m sorry. Nothing of that sort will happen for the Red Devils.
The problem for Pogba is that his Chinese animal zodiac is the Water Rooster - which is at odds with Man Utd’s red devil, which is most associated with fire. That is why Pogba has been able to perform so well for France, whose symbol is the coq gaulois - a rooster.
Newcastle’s logo also contains two seahorses and that is not a good omen for Ole Gunnar Solskjaer’s men. In fengshui, two wrongs do not make a right. It only makes things worse. And that is what will happen for Man Utd.
Newcastle to win 1-0.
Fitness is life, the obese are lame. Without fitness, you can’t win the game!
Have you all seen the recent photos of Adama Traore? He is really massive!
No wonder Manchester City weren’t able to stop him in their last match-up. And honestly, I don’t think there’s anyone to stop him now. Certainly not Nicolas ‘Chicken Legs’ Otamendi!
City’s best chance of winning is to hope that Traore falls sick. Because not even physical injuries can stop him - just look at how he shrugged off the dislocated shoulder injury he sustained against Tottenham Hotspur, and played against Norwich City last weekend.
If Traore is healthy, and with massive arms and thigh like that, I’m pretty sure he will bulldoze his way around on the pitch.
So I think Wolves to secure a narrow 2-1 win!
(Statistics + algebra – probability) x me = 100% accurate EPL predictions.
So Tottenham won’t have Son Heung-min after that stupid challenge he made against Chelsea, but that might not necessarily be a bad thing for Spurs.
Because it’s time for Harry Kane to show up. Without Son in the team, Kane has 21 goals in 20 matches, or about 1.05 goals a game, compared to 0.7 goals per game with Son in the team.
And when Kane scores, Spurs’ chances of winning increase by 40 per cent. That means trouble for Brighton, who as it is, have only a 20 per cent chance of winning the game.
A normal mathematician will suggest a simple win for Spurs based on those statistics. But I’m not any mathematician. I’m a Math Genius.
Spurs to dismantle Brighton 4-2.
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