Trickster Tipster Dec 03

Mourinho is demanding respect, so Spurs to score three against United

You don’t know me. But I know you. And everything about the EPL too.


Oooohhhh the big, juicy one! I’ve been looking forward to Manchester United taking on Tottenham Hotspur after Jose Mourinho returned to the English Premier League (EPL) as Spurs manager!  


Thanks to the spyware I’ve installed at Carrington, I’ve learnt that the key decision makers at Man Utd have told Ole Gunnar Solskjaer in no uncertain terms that he needs to beat Spurs so Mourinho can’t laugh at them.


There wasn’t a name in the note that was sent to Solskjaer’s email inbox, but based on the initials E.W., I’m guessing it was Ed Woodward who sent it.


Apparently, the Glazers have also started questioning Woodward’s decisions - such as the one to sack Mourinho and hire Solskjaer. Especially since Spurs are now above Man Utd in the table too. And it appears Woodward has in turn decided to vent his frustrations on Solskjaer.  


As for Mourinho, he has told his players confidently that they will walk away from Old Trafford with all three points. And he’s been preparing his speech for press conference: Pointing up three fingers, saying “respect, respect, respect.”


Oh, this should be fun. Take Spurs to triumph 3-2 against the Red Devils!  


Math Genius: Burnley vs Man City

(Statistics + algebra – probability) x me = 100% accurate EPL predictions.


Seeing Pep Guardiola scratch his head has become so common that I find myself subconsciously doing it as well whenever the Spaniard does it. And by my count, there were at least 30 head scratches in the 2-2 draw against Newcastle.  


This indicates a 30 per cent reduction in Manchester City’s confidence. But given that Burnley were recently beaten by Crystal Palace, their confidence are at an even lower level, at just 66 per cent overall. When you factor everything in, it tells me that Man City are 40 per cent more likely to win this match.  


Take City to beat Burnley 4-0.  


Fitness Babe: Leicester City vs Watford  

Fitness is life, the obese are lame. Without fitness, you can’t win the game!


So my paymasters have directed me to predict the Leicester City match because we are pushing for a Football Siao Leicester City fan club. Leicester are certainly on fire right now and they’ve got a bunch of determined players. That makes them so sexy!


Watford on the other hand, are definitely NOT the definition of sexy. It’s turmoil there, and things are messier than a hoarder’s room right now.  


Time for a big Leicester win. 3-0, go Foxes!  


Fengshui Master: Liverpool vs Everton

The answers to the EPL are in the palm of my hand.


Liverpool fans may want to thank Everton for contributing to their dominance this season. It’s because Everton have been so poor that the Yin Yang at Merseyside is disrupted and bringing chaos to the EPL - which has resulted in Liverpool sweeping aside everything in their path.


Can balance be restored? I’m afraid not, because Marco Silva’s star is waning. The Silver Star that correlates to Silva has dimmed, thanks to Jurgen Klopp’s Copper star burning brightly.  

In short, there’s no way Liverpool will lose. Take them to win 2-0.  




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