Siao Mates Apr 22

MAWA Man puts on a Ballon d'Or-worthy display


 

If you haven’t already heard or seen, the government’s attempt at being hip and cool fell flat on its face, like how Steven Gerrard slipped against Chelsea.

 

If you thought that the likes of Jack Wilshere, Daniel Sturridge and Owen Hargreaves were practically lame because of their constant injuries, wait till you see the Virus Vanguard, Singapore’s very own quintet of superheroes who had to be yanked off way before the fulltime whistle.

 

Thankfully, we have the internet community providing us with valuable VAR footage.

 

Okay, fine. The intention was noble. You can’t possibly fault them for wanting to pay tribute to the efforts of our frontline medical workers.

 

WATCH: Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp thanks frontline workers for their hard work

 

The execution, on the other hand, was a disaster. Just like Ole Gunnar Solskjaer’s reign at Man United.

 

Dear Gov.sg, what went wrong? That Phua Chua Kang x COVID video was LIT AF. How did you go from making such an entertaining and informative video to something as silly as this superhero quintet?

 

To be clear, I’m not here to berate the artist further and fan the flames that he has been put over to boil by Liverpool fans. In fact, I want to salute him.

 

Dear Mas Shafreen, you have my respect for speaking up. You could’ve stood back and let the government take the flak, but you didn’t. You are definitely more honourable than that ex-Man U winger who shagged his brother’s wife.

 

So here’s an olive branch, from a Liverpool fan no less.

 

 

But here’s a gentle reminder, next time round, don’t play play when it comes to appropriating something as sacred as You’ll Never Walk Alone. How would you feel if we misappropriated your club motto “Youth, Courage, Greatness”.

 

WATCH: Liverpool supporters sing You’ll Never Walk Alone at Anfield

 

By the way, who came up with this boring motto? Sounds more befitting for a kindergarten than a football club.

 

I’ll be honest. I wasn’t too offended by MAWA (Must Always Walk Alone) Man. Sure, I thought it was slightly distasteful, not because I’m a huge comics and Liverpool fan, but because there is absolutely no need to drag the Liverpool-Man U rivalry into the fray.

 

It’s silly. It’s pointless. It’s like Michael Owen’s football commentaries.

 

Actually, I was rather bemused by the characters.

Still more useful than X-men's Jubilee.

 

Fake News Buster appears to be a cross between an electrician who can’t afford proper spectacles and what the mascot of the Workers’ Party should look like. I like that giant mallet, though I’m not too sure of the name The Mallet of Truth. Perhaps it should’ve been named POFMA, Hand of Shanmugam instead.

 

And then we have Circuit Breaker, a Gundam-like robot that is piloted by a girl from - I’m guessing from the uniform - St. Nicholas Girls’ School. I don’t quite get this duo and their superpower - why is there a need to control electronics during a pandemic? Can they hack Netflix and provide me with a free subscription? That would be really useful during this CB period.

 

WATCH: Jurgen Klopp says he’s picked up “new skills” from Youtube during the lockdown

 

Next, we have Dr. Disinfector, who looks like a Kamala Khan-Doctor Octopus hybrid. I’m not sure what the two robotic tentacles are for - I guess they could come in handy for enforcing social distancing. Or for simultaneously grabbing toilet paper, Maggi Mee and other essential items when hoarding at NTUC.

 

According to Gov.sg, this character "wields a multifunctional treatment gun with various capsules containing antidotes and boosters”. But that’s just silly. Eh, if there’s already an antidote for COVID, why on earth do people still need to do CB?

 

Well, they did at least get one thing right with Dr. Disinfector - she’s the only person wearing a mask. Hey, Circuit Breaker, Care-Leh Dee, Fake News Buster and MAWA Man, that’s going to be a $300 fine for each of you.

 

Oh, wait. You’re jogging? Okay, never mind. Carry on.

 

WATCH: Behind the scenes of Liverpool’s online training session

 

Last but not least, we have Care-Leh Dee. Is this character supposed to be a Storm-Pontianak hybrid? Also, do we really need a heroine in a dress to be floating about Singapore? Do you know how many pervs (and it appears that we do have many of them) will be prosecuted for taking upskirt photos of her?

 

Oh, wait. You’ve got good grades? Okay, never mind. Carry on.

 

I also think it’s obvious that Care-Leh Dee’s powers are a hoax. For a superhero who is supposed to absorb negativity through empathy, she emphatically failed to absorb all the vitriol coming from Liverpool fans.

 

On that same note, we can say with confidence that MAWA Man has performed his job perfectly.

 

He certainly repelled everyone.