Siao Mates Oct 18

eVARton 2 Liverpool 2 – Time to VAR the VAR


 

Liverpool and Everton might have shared the spoils on Saturday, but it was in fact the side in blue that took over a title from the side in red.

 

What title?

 

The “VAR Loves Me the Most” title. 

 

I was so livid with the offside decision made that I started hyperventilating. In fact, it got so bad I nearly dialled for an ambulance. But after realising that having difficulty breathing is a symptom of Covid-19, I decided against it. 

 

I just didn’t see a point in getting my nose probed because of someone’s incompetency.

 

Yes, I’m talking about you, VAR official(s).

 

Jurgen Klopp can’t say this openly. So, I’m saying it for him: You’re a freaking tool.

 

WATCH: Klopp discusses VAR's impact on Merseyside derby

 

You had ONE job to get right. And all it involves is checking if VAR should be used to reverse - in the very words of the football lawmakers themselves - “clear and obvious” errors.

 

I don’t know how you could’ve thought that Liverpool’s third goal was a “clear and obvious” error. I’m pretty sure you had to strain your eyes to examine the very pixels on the screen to make such a decision.

 

If you did, it’s OBVIOUSLY NOT A CLEAR AND OBVIOUS ERROR.

 

Can you please tell us which part of Sadio Mane was offside?

 

Some of my friends said the hair on his right arm was.

 

Some said his goalscoring aura was.

 

WATCH: How Sadio Mane became a goalscoring machine at Liverpool

 

I’ve never been a fan of the VAR. It is killing the Beautiful Game. I know, I know, you Manchester United fans are probably calling me a hypocrite, because Liverpool benefitted from one too many lucky VAR calls last season.

 

But believe it or not, I felt for those teams that were on the wrong end of the decision. I abhor VAR. I really do. There is simply no place in football for this sort of nonsense.

 

Trust me, I’m impartial when it comes to football. In fact, ask me who I think is the GOAT when it comes to EPL managers and I won’t hesitate to tell you that it’s Sir Alex Ferguson.

 

Now, some of you might say that a human linesman might have made the same mistake. But I beg to differ.

 

No linesman who has a perfectly healthy and functioning brain (or financial situation) would raise the flag in this instance. Because we humans know what it is like to work with margins of error. Because it’s simply too close to call.

 

Football is a sport for humans. It’s called The Beautiful Game for a reason. And this derby was, for the most part, utterly beautiful.

 

The tackles were full-blooded. Emotions were running high. The intensity was off the charts.

 

Liverpool were the better side. They moved the ball around better. They showed more grit. They were always more likely to score. Everton made up for a lack of slick passing with good old-fashioned hard tackles and Academy Award-worthy acting.

 

WATCH: Klopp impressed with 'really good' Everton

 

I don’t understand how Richarlison ended up squirming on the pitch even though he was the one who performed a sickening tackle that could’ve broken Thiago Alcantara’s leg in two.

 

I don’t understand how James Rodriguez looked as if he was hit by a truck after Fabinho clipped his heel. Hey, welcome to the Premier League.

 

And don’t even get me started on how Jordan Pickford wasn’t sent off for that crazy tackle on Virgil Van Dijk. Yes, the giant Dutchman was indeed offside. But since when was there a rule stipulating that fouls committed during an offside don’t stand?

 

What? Did Joey Barton invent that rule?

 

This isn’t the first time that officials have used VAR for the wrong reason. This needs to stop.

 

I mean, what do players have to contend with next? Having sensors strapped to their brains so that referees know if they intentionally took a dive or are play acting? 

 

So, dear referees, here’s what you need to do: reverse that abominable reversal and award Liverpool the win.

 

Seriously. Do it. 

 

No, no, don’t tell me it’s undoable.

 

Have you forgotten? You guys awarded Manchester United a penalty against Brighton after the full-time whistle had gone.

 

PS: I have started a petition to award Liverpool the win and abolish VAR. Liverpool fans, sign it now!

 

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